This is not just a foreign problem. In our churches, in our communities, there are invisible needs. There is an invisible war in America that has taken husbands and fathers out of the home and women and children have become widows and orphans. A single mom, struggling to survive, wonders if anyone cares if her family lives or dies. She’s working two jobs just to pay her rent. She is exhausted by the end of the workday. Yet she comes home to fix dinner, bathe children, and clean house before she collapses into bed. Her needs are hard to spot, because she doesn’t want anyone to know how needy she is.

Obviously all of these needs are real. It’s understandable and right that we give to those who so desperately need help and have no one else to care for them. It’s good stewardship of our resources. God has clearly instructed us in His Word to reach out to "the least of these."

Christian Financial Concepts was built on teaching God’s people God’s principles of handling money. The idea is really simple. If we learn to become good stewards of the resources God has entrusted to us, then many of us will be able to build a surplus to invest in the Lord’s work and meet the needs of others.

Larry Burkett, Christian Financial Concepts founder and financial teacher, says, "Ever since I began teaching financial stewardship more than 20 years ago, the needs of single parents have been a concern for me. Reaching out to the needy has always been a function of the local church, and single parents are among the most needy individuals around us. The large number of single parents in our nation represents a mission field for churches right here at home."

The needs of single parent families are tremendous. The statistics paint a dire picture. There are 11 million single parent households in the United States. Divorce is not the primary cause of single parenting any more. Almost 40 percent of single parents are never married, 38 percent are divorced, about 20 percent are separated, and only 5 percent are single parents due to the death of a spouse. Over nine million of them are women. The Wall Street Journal recently reported that "85 percent of black females with children under six years of age have never been married. About 75 percent of Hispanic women and 56 percent of white women are in the same situation." ¹This is a fatherless generation.

Single parents’ average incomes are much lower than that of two-parent families. Although single dads average more, the average single mother earns less than $15,000 per year. Her average take-home pay is about $1,000 per month. If she receives child support, the average annual amount is $3,000. Most single mothers have two children.

On this limited income she must provide for basic needs, such as housing, food, and transportation. A two-bedroom apartment in most parts of the country averages $465 to $750 per month, plus about $150 for utilities and telephone. Food for the family adds another $200. If she needs a car for work, she has the expense of payments, gas, oil, tags, insurance, and maintenance. She may have car insurance if she has a car loan, but many single parents consider it an unaffordable luxury and drive uninsured. Maintenance is usually put off until an emergency. If she has credit, she uses it to subsidize her income, creating a debt she can’t possibly pay back.

If she needs child care to go to work, she must fit it in an already overextended budget. Child care costs average between $85 and $110 per week for one child. A second child adds another $50 to $75 per week.

These needs are obvious when we look at the statistics, so why don’t we see them in the church? One of the first things we learn is that it is better to give than to receive. Like everyone else, single parents want to give. They don’t want to be seen as needy. We are taught that if we don’t take care of our own families, then we’re worse than nonbelievers. Many single parents already feel like failures in marriage, relationships, or parenting, and now they feel like failures financially. To make matters worse, single parents who, in desperation, become bold enough to approach their church for help, are often disappointed or hurt by the response. How is a church going to look inviting to single parents on the outside when it isn’t meeting the needs of single parents on the inside?

How do you meet the needs of people who are hiding their needs? The best way to get to know the needs of a single parent family in your church is to build a relationship with them. Treat them like family. When family members have a need, do we have them fill out a form and go through a committee to receive help? Most families don’t. Why? Because we know them. We know their character and their commitment, and we usually know their financial constraints and the legitimacy of their need. We obviously wouldn’t loan them money that we know they cannot pay back. And we are usually sensitive to the emotions attached to their decisions.

If a group of eight to ten people in the church "adopted" a single
parent family, they probably could meet 90 percent of the family’s needs without ever taking up a church benevolence offering.

It’s better to reserve the forms and the committee process for single parents outside the church. Offering help to strangers shows them that God loves them and cares about their needs, just as it does in third world countries. If churches develop ministries that meet the needs of single parents in the church, then they will meet the needs of single parents outside the church. Most single parents are looking for people who care about them. Except for those that are hardened by welfare, most of them don’t want someone to rescue them. They want genuine help. They want guidance, mentors, and practical help with practical needs.